Everywhere I go lately—whether it’s a boardroom, a classroom, or a coaching call—I keep hearing the same concern from leaders: “We’re struggling to retain good people.”
And I get it. Retention is important. Losing talented people is expensive, disruptive, and discouraging. But after a recent conversation with my colleague Laura, I realized we may be looking at this all wrong.
Laura posed a simple but powerful question:
“Are we even giving people the opportunity to be ‘good’?”
Let that land for a second.
So often, we try to “retain” people without ever really knowing them. We want them to stay, but we haven’t created the space or structure for them to grow. We say we want them to succeed, but we haven’t stopped to ask what success looks like to them.
“When I hear the word retention,” Laura said during our conversation, “what comes to mind is—are we just trying to keep people? What about actualizing our talent instead?”
That reframe hit me hard.
Actualizing talent requires more than keeping people in the building. It means we understand what motivates them. We know how they learn. We create a culture where people feel safe making mistakes, showing up fully, and contributing their perspective—even when it’s different.
For many of us, especially those leading diverse and neurodiverse teams, that means learning how to lead differently. Laura works closely with teams around neurodiversity in the workplace, and she pointed out something we can’t ignore:
“The traditional workplace isn’t set up for everyone to succeed. Especially for people who process, think, or communicate differently.”
This isn’t just about compliance or inclusion as a buzzword. It’s about awareness—and responsibility.
As leaders, we don’t get to opt out of learning about our people. We can’t say “I didn’t know” when someone on our team is struggling to thrive. It’s our job to know. It’s our job to ask.
A simple question like “What do you need to do your best work?” can open the door to trust, engagement, and development.
Yes, there’s a lot of talk about burnout, quiet quitting, disengagement. But we’re often missing the root issue: people aren’t being seen or supported for who they really are.
“It’s not that someone is a bad employee,” Laura said. “Maybe they’re just unsupported talent.”
That line has stuck with me.
We don’t just need retention strategies. We need actualization strategies. Because when people are supported in the right environment, doing work that aligns with their strengths and values, they don’t just stay—they soar.
So, if you’re wrestling with retention in your organization right now, I’d challenge you to ask a different question:
Are we helping our people become who they’re capable of becoming?
If not, that’s the real work. And it starts with listening.